


Finding Home

by Pennatus



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pennatus/pseuds/Pennatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then, one night a few weeks after everything had happened and things were finally starting to settle, Tendo said, "I think Newton's in love with you."<br/>"…what?"</p><p>Or, in which Newton epically fails to take care of himself and has to get a little help from his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Home

Raleigh groaned at the knock on his door.

When he'd gotten back to base after blowing up the portal (losing Stacker and Chuck) he'd somehow managed to sneak away from Mako, from the handshakes and high fives and the celebrations, from the chaos. The doctors had checked him out and proclaimed him in one piece, in need of rest and recuperation. Luckily the lack of oxygen hadn't done any permanent damage [and the shielding on the Gypsy Danger, designed with it nuclear 'heart' in mind, had protected him from the radiation of the blast].

He'd planned on spending the next twelve hours sleeping, or at least until they figured out who was in charge and someone came to bother him about mission details. They'd probably still be celebrating when he woke up. How could a military base hide that much alcohol and confetti anyway?

The second round of knocking broke him out of his thoughts. With a sigh he stood and walked, wincing, over to the door. After peering through the eye hole he immediately opened the door with a smile. "Tendo."

"Hey buddy." His old friend gave him a light friendly shoulder bump as he stepped in. "Wanted to see you in one piece myself. You snuck off pretty fast."

"Yeah, I'm just tired." He scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I don't think it's quite sunk in yet."

"That you beat them?"

"That…I'm alive, I guess."

"Hey." Tendo reached out and grabbed Raleigh's forearm and they locked gazes. "You know your brother would be proud, right?"

Raleigh gave a small, bitter laugh, glancing away. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. What you did - it was amazing. You saved us - hell, you saved the entire planet. That's something to be proud of."

Raleigh shook his head. "I ran, Tendo. I ran from it for five years. Why is that something to be proud of?"

"Because, in the end, you came back and did the right thing!" Tendo rubbed his eyes, sighing. "Look, I know you're going to keep being an idiot about this for awhile, and that's fine. That's just who you are. But, well, _I'm_ proud of you, ok?"

That pulled a smile out of the Jaeger pilot. "I suppose I can accept that."

"Good. Now get on that bed."

Raleigh raised an eyebrow. "That's a bit forward of you."

Tendo laughed. "Sleeping. Beside each other. With clothes on. Since we're both fully grown adults I think you can handle that." He raised an eyebrow. "Right?"

Raleigh shrugged, lips curling. "Right."

 

\--

 

It was easy to get back into it, even after all this time.

Losing Yancy was more than losing a brother. It was losing a confidant, a friend, an _everything_. It was also losing a lover. Their relationship was _very_ secret. He'd been a bit of a hothead when he was younger, sure, but he knew all about incestuous relationships and how they were viewed. He loved his job as a Jaeger pilot and he wasn't about to screw it up for him and his brother just because of some judgmental army officers. They didn't mind keeping it a secret, not really. What they did was their own business and behind closed doors so Raleigh figured it didn't, shouldn't, matter anyway.

Thinking about that still hurt. The emptiness, the silence, that had filled Raleigh when Yancy was gone was more than emotional. It was physical as well. Being apart from his brother, knowing the other was never coming back, that there would be no more physical contact, made an ache in his chest that still cut through him on his weaker days.

Tendo was the only one who could ease that ache. While he couldn't exactly share the pain Raleigh had experienced, he was close to both of them, and Yancy's death had hit him hard as well. He'd also somehow pieced together the brother's true relationship, though he'd only told him he'd known after Yancy was dead. He said he was trying to give them privacy, or something. Raleigh remembered how embarrassed he'd been, avoiding his gaze, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes still puffy from crying.

That night, they'd comforted each other with more than just words.

Tendo was the only reason Raleigh hadn't left the base that night. They'd dragged him, Jaeger and all, back to headquarters for a full briefing. After that, Stacker seemed to realize he needed some time to recover and left him alone. He could tell that his CO would eventually want him back in action. Compatible drifters were hard to find and now that Raleigh had experience he was even more valuable.

But Raleigh couldn't imagine fighting without his brother and Tendo understood that. There was something strange and comfortable and unnamable between them that Raleigh didn't want to question. When he told Tendo what he planned to do, that he didn't want to pilot anymore, Tendo hadn't looked disgusted or pitying or even surprised. He just shrugged and gave a lopsided smile, saying "Wherever you go, man, I'll be here, waiting for you."

That line put Raleigh at ease.

So when he'd returned, he'd admit he was more than a little relieved - and happy - to see Tendo still there, still working, still waiting. The end of the world - and in part the promise to pilot a Jaeger again (he'd had a long time to think about a lot of things) - had drawn him back, but Tendo had been more than a little behind his return.

When things settled down and the apocalypse had been averted, it felt effortless to slide back into - whatever they had before. It wasn't always sex. Sometimes it was just talking and listening or sharing with someone who knew what you had been through. There was Mako now, too - another who knew the truth about him and his brother and didn't judge him for it - and talking with her helped. Drifting made a connection that bound two people together in an indescribable way. Mako and him were bound now and Raleigh wouldn't have it any other way.

But Tendo was someone who'd been there before, who'd been there always, who'd been there when it mattered. With him, talking wasn't a chore. He didn't have to censor himself or worry if his voice caught when he mentioned something. It was freedom in a way Raleigh hadn't realized he needed so badly.

Then, one night a few weeks after everything had happened and things were finally starting to settle, Tendo said, "I think Newton's in love with you."

"…what?"

 

\--

 

Tendo sort of vaguely knew Newton, in the sense that they worked together and so, being in the same general vicinity, occasionally ran into each other. He pretty much knew the other as some sort of crazy scientist, that worked with that other crazy scientist, and took apart Kaijus in the basement.

That is to say, Tendo knew absolutely nothing about Newton, and didn't really care either.

So when Newton stepped onto the elevator beside him, carrying some sort of carton and looking faintly excited, Tendo didn't think much about it. That is, until he asked, "Is it true that the Marshall is thinking about bringing back the Mach III Jaeger suit? The Gipsy Danger?"

Tendo blinked, more at the fact that Newton was talking to him rather than at the question, although the question was equally baffling. It's not that he hadn't seen Newton talking but he tended to be talking to himself or rather by himself than with other people. He had a bit of an off putting (see: arrogant) personality that hadn't won him any fans, although he seemed innocent and harmless to Tendo. So for Newton to actually ask him a question out of the blue was startling enough that the technician had to take a few seconds to gather his thoughts.

"Uh, yeah," was what he came up with. The whole base has known that for months, he wanted to add but didn't. See, he could be polite. If he wanted to.

This answer just made Newton more excited. It was kind of entertaining to watch, actually, as what had been an expression turned into a slight jitteriness throughout the other's body, as though the emotion was too much to handle for him.

"That's awesome!" the scientist exclaimed. "Who's gonna pilot it? Because that suit's kinda old school and, well, the Jaeger program's dying a bit, and drifter compatible people are hard to find. It's not like they can just take people off the street for it, and hey you know the old pilot's still alive right? Raleigh Becket? Except no one really knows where he is but still it'd be awesome if he could come back and pilot it. Haha, that'd be kind of ridiculous though huh?" He laughed suddenly, nervously, his grip on the box shifting slightly and him flailing to catch it as it began slipping.

Tendo found himself reconsidering the man. All the rumors he'd heard had pegged the scientist as an annoying, know-it-all, creepy I'm-outside-your-bedroom kind of guy. The fact that he dissected kaijus and worked in a basement probably hadn't helped matters either. But from his (admittedly short) interaction with Newton, he seemed normal enough, if a bit hyperactive and obviously socially inept. Tendo found his ranting amusing actually, and grinned as he replied, "Yeah, I knew Raleigh when he worked here as a pilot before." He felt like he didn't need to specify what 'before' meant.

"You did?" This time the box actually did fall out of his Newton's hands and Tendo raised an eyebrow as Newton bent over to retrieve it from the floor. "I can't believe - this is so awesome! He only had seven employments but one of them was against Category 4 and it was in Manila and really his fighting record is so incredible…"

Tendo listened as the other rambled on and on. He knew an almost alarming amount of information about Raleigh and his history in the Pan Pacific Defense Corps.

Newton seemed to suddenly realize he was talking to someone and stopped abruptly, moving the box around awkwardly in his arms. "Ah - well - that is - the Jaeger's are pretty amazing, stopping the kaijus. But the kaijus are amazing too and do you know I think there's something weird about them, I'm not sure if the category classifications are appropriate - "

And right about then the elevator doors opened and Tendo realized he'd completely missed his floor as he glanced over and saw the hallway leading deeper into the basement.

When he glanced back Newton was grinning at him. "You're pretty cool! I'll see you around." And Tendo caught sight of a flash of color as the scientist shifted the box and his sleeve pulled back slightly before he walked away.

 

\--

 

"So you think he loves me because he talked about me once?"

Tendo shook his head, grinning. "I'm all about evidence, man. That's not the only thing."

Raleigh looked skeptical. "All right, I'll bite."

"Did you know all those tattoos on his arms are from _your_ deployments?"

"So? A lot of people get kaijus tattooed on them."

"Yeah, but kaijus that only one set of pilots defeated?"

Raleigh shrugged and leaned back against the wall, stretching. "It's not that weird. I'm sure there's some idiot out there with my face on him."

"I'm telling you, it's suspicious. Remember Yamarashi? He's got that one on his back. Like a beginning. It's huge."

Raleigh just shook his head, then paused. "Wait, how do you know it's on his back?"

Tendo tapped his chin with a finger. "Hmm, I wonder…."

The pilot stared. "Did you two…?"

"Have sex?" Tendo laughed. "I thought we were."

 

\--

 

"Hey," Tendo murmured, "what's wrong? You've gone quiet."

Newton blinked up at him. They were both in Tendo's room, at Newton's insistence for reasons Tendo didn't really know. Tendo had finally managed to get the other's shirt off and was hoping it would go a little farther but Newton looked reluctant and Tendo was a gentleman first, always.

"Oh, uh, haha, I'm fine," Newton was quick to say, a cocky smile plastered onto his face. Tendo frowned at the fakeness.

"We don't have to do anything, if you don't want to," Tendo reminded him.

"Who said I didn't want to do anything?" Newton asked, and the hand that reached up shook slightly. Tendo watched him a bit warily but to his surprise, Newton's fingers just traced along his face in a strange sort of rapture.

The technician raised his eyebrows at the gesture and Newton just coughed and averted his eyes.

"Hey," Tendo said, catching the other's wrist, "you're sort of weird, aren't you?"

This seemed to break Newton out of whatever had come over him. He grinned, creases forming around his eyes. "Who, me? I'm not weird, I'm amazing."

"So you keep saying," Tendo laughed. "Here, c'mon." He leaned back and helped pull Newton back up to a sitting position. "Whoa, what's that? On your back?"

"Oh, the tattoo?" Newton twisted slightly, revealing a rearing kaiju that took up the entirety of his back, the ink shifting as his muscles flexed. "It's Yamarashi. Yancy and Raleigh Becket defeated him in 2017 in Los Angeles. Their first deployment."

"Yeah, I know, I was there," Tendo answered. "Why get a tattoo of it, though?"

Newton shrugged. "Because it's cool. I love studying kaiju, I figured I should have a tattoo of 'em."

"You have more than just one," Tendo pointed out.

"I know!" The scientist watched as Tendo trailed fingers down the colored arm.

"I just didn't expect you to have so many."

"What, you think I just rot down there and scribble on blackboards like Hermann?" Newton rolled his eyes.

"What is it you do, then?" When Tendo glanced up from his observation, the other was staring at him.

"You’re asking me…what I do?" Newton said, almost carefully.

"Is it classified? I'm sure I'm allowed to hear it, my clearance level's pretty high."

"Well, of _course_ it's classified," Newton huffed, as though he was offended at the question. "I'm analyzing kaiju, trying to see if they have any similarities, genetically. Of course I'm also mapping their biology and…"

 

\--

 

"It got kinda technical from there," Tendo concluded, "but that's the gist of it."

Raleigh squeezed his eyes shut as he thought. "Ok, but that doesn't explain why he was in your room in the _first_ place."

"He was talking too much, so I decided to shut him up by kissing him."

"You - when exactly was that?"

"On the elevator."

"During the first story?"

"Oh, no. I kept an eye out for him after that and I realized he was actually around the base a lot. So I'd talk to him whenever I saw him. You have to admit, he's pretty attractive."

"I don't really go around judging people based on their looks."

"Then you're missing out, my man!" Tendo slapped the pilot on the back, laughing.

Raleigh shook his head but couldn't stop his answering grin. "What exactly was the moral of the story?"

"Moral? The moral was, Newton's hot and you need to get a hold of that while you still can. Although if he's been waiting for you for five years you don't have to rush. I wouldn't advise that anyway, he's pretty skittish. My guess is some of the guys around him used him a few times. That's probably why he was surprised I didn't mind talking."

"You mean he was raped?" If that were true, Raleigh was going to remedy that situation _right_ _now_.

"No, no, nothing like that. Stacker wouldn't allow that on his base for a second. I just mean that Newton probably wanted to make a friend, and the other guy probably just wanted sex, and in the end only one of them went away happy. Eventually it just developed into the norm for him."

"That's…kinda sad."

"See!" Tendo pointed an accusing finger at his friend. "Now you want to talk to him, right?"

"When you guilt trip me into it, how can I say no?"

"You can't. That's what this beautiful face is for."

"Glad it's good for something else," Raleigh teased, yanking the other closer.

 

\--

 

Raleigh didn't mind in the slightest Tendo had gone after Newton in his absence.

What they had wasn't exclusive. He couldn't even imagine being exclusive. He supposed that the best definition would be 'friends with benefits' but somehow that didn't quite fit. They were much more than friends, much more than labels. It was pointless to even think about what they had when it felt so right.

Tendo's story about Newton intrigued him, though. His one brief exchange with the scientist had been rather unfulfilling. He agreed with Tendo in that Newton had seemed incredibly socially inept. Thinking back, he briefly recalled Newton's expression of mild horror and disappointment after he'd responded. At the time he hadn't thought much about it, caught up as he was in thinking about a new pilot and seeing Gipsy Danger again.

He wondered now if that reaction was because of what Raleigh had said, or what Newton had said.

Either way, Tendo had effectively piqued his interest. Not that Raleigh believed the scientist was after him or something but he could at least give the other guy some attention. He had helped saved the world by drifting with a kaiji, after all. _That_ was weird enough to warrant some interest.

Now there was the problem of finding him.

The base had settled down quite a bit. Many people had gone home, to families and friends or who was left, feeling proud of all they had accomplished. They was still a lot of clean up and maintenance to be done on the base, plus it seemed the world hadn't yet figured out what to do with the spare mechanical parts and half built Jaegers. Herc, who had taken over as the new Marshall, was trying to use the remaining personnel to create a support and rescue group to help the ravaged cities and landscape. As far as Raleigh knew, Herc was still working out the details with the government.

As for Raleigh, the nation now considered him and Mako heroes. Herc had offered to pay for pretty much anything he wanted or to take him wherever he desired but all Raleigh wanted to do was stay with Tendo and help try and repair the damage the kaijus had caused. All the attention made him uncomfortable, an ironic departure from his earlier years. It had taken him a long time to realize that having talent didn't entitle you to anything, including recognition. Sometimes things had to be done because you were the only one who could do it.

His brother had known that.

There was still a great deal of interest in the kaijus. Most of the scientists had been allowed to continue their study of the kaijus and, more importantly at this point, the effect they had on the environment. The 'kaiji blue' effect was a huge deal now that things had settled down, mainly because much of what had occurred had happened in the ocean. They were also dealing with the nuclear fallout from Stacker detonating his payload. Raleigh knew it was too late to change what had happened and that the final result, at least, had been desired, but so much had been lost and sacrificed. They'd be dealing with the consequences for years, likely decades, possibly centuries.

Knowing that, Raleigh figured Newton still had to be around. Tendo had confirmed that, saying the scientist hadn't resigned or been relocated, though no doubt he had been offered as well. Though few acknowledged it, his role in defeating the kaiju had also been instrumental. Raleigh wanted to thank him for that, at least. Drifting with a kaiju had been a huge risk to his safety but Newton had done it not once but twice, just to gain more information. Without his knowledge, the mission would have been a failure and would probably have ended in the destruction of everyone who had gone. Not to mention the world.

But Raleigh couldn't find him anywhere. He hadn't run into him at any point on the base, which wasn't that weird. It was a big base and there were a lot of people. He hadn't found him in the basement where he (theoretically) lurked, though when he'd gone there the other scientist, Hermann, had given him the weirdest smirk followed by a bizarre conversation.

"So you're the hero that saved the entire earth. Congratulations, I suppose."

"Uh…thanks." Raleigh immediately disliked this guy but he was on a mission. "Have you seen Newton?"

"You're looking for him? Well isn't this a pleasant change."

"Was he - looking for me?" Raleigh asked, a bit puzzled.

Hermann sniffed. "When _isn't_ he? If he's not talking about kaijus he's talking about you and sometimes he manages to be the epitome of obnoxious and talk about them both at the same time. I'd call it impressive but really, very few things about him can be called impressive."

Raleigh frowned. "Didn't he figure out how the breach worked?"

"Thus why I said 'very few'. If you wish to speak with him, he's not here. I'm afraid you'll have to keep looking."

Raleigh glanced over at the kaiju parts hanging in jars, the various instruments, the scattered papers and scribbles on blackboards. "Will he be back?"

"Oh, eventually, I imagine."

"O…k, then. I'll just…go." Hermann had already turned his back on him and just waved a dismissive hand.

Raleigh got back in the elevator feeling a bit irritated. He'd gotten no closer to finding Newton and instead had to deal with Hermann and his - whatever that was. The things he had said puzzled him. Newton talked about him? Why? It was sounding more and more like he had some kind of creepy stalker, but Tendo had made it seem like Newton was a good guy. Was he some sort of fan, then?

Raleigh considered Tendo's comment of Newton being in love with him, then dismissed it. How could he be in love with someone he'd never met?

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he turned a corner and ran smack into another person. Papers flew in the air and fell in a gentle white shower.

Rubbing his shoulder, Raleigh glanced up. His eyes widened in surprise as he recognized Newton, who was scrambling around trying to gather up the papers, rambling the whole time.

"Oh, sorry, man, didn't see you there, kinda preoccupied, you would not believe how much work there's still to be done, and it just means that - " The scientist looked up and froze, his mouth still open.

Raleigh couldn't help but laugh at that expression. "Here, let me help you." He reached to grab some of the papers on the ground.

To his surprise, Newton immediately scrambled backwards, slipping on the papers in his rush to rise. Falling on his butt, he didn't even take a second to recover but instead dropped the pile he had gathered back to the floor and this time used his hands to push himself to his feet before literally running off down the hallway, pushing people out of the way. Raleigh blinked owlishly at the abrupt departure.

For lack of a better option, Raleigh slowly gather up the fallen papers, wondering what the hell had just happened.

"Are these yours?"

Raleigh looked up with a smile to see Mako crouched next to him, offering the last of the fallen papers. "Nope. But thanks."

She raised an eyebrow as they stood. "They are not yours?"

"They're Newton's. He dropped them as he ran away from me."

Mako appeared confused. "I do not understand."

"I'm serious. I accidentally ran into him and he dropped all this stuff as soon as he realized it was me. Then he took off down the hallway." They stood.

"Why would he do that?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Beats me."

"He sounds like a strange man."

"Weren't you the one who worked with him?"

Mako gave a slight shrug. "I never talked with him directly. We were assigned to different projects and he kept to himself."

"…hmm."

"He is the one who found the secret behind the breach, correct?"

"That's him. I thought I'd thank him or something."

Mako nodded. "That would be kind of you."

"But apparently I'll never get a chance," Raleigh said in a wry tone.

"What did you do to make him run from you?"

"Hell if I know." Raleigh turned his head to stare down the hallway the scientist had escaped down. "Though, I'm becoming really interested in the answer…"

 

\--

 

"You want me to what?" Herc, the new Marshall, crossed his arms, free at last of the cast.

"Do I really have to repeat it?"

"I just don't see _why_ you want to talk to Newton so badly. We're busy enough as it is, I don't have time to play matchmaker as well."

"Matchmaker? No, no, you've got it all wrong. That's not what I want."

"What do you want from him?" Herc asked with an expectant stare.

"I just - wanna talk to him."

"Him?" Herc laughed. "You'd be the first. All right," he spread his arms wide, "if you want to talk so badly, fine. Knock yourself out. But try not to be too long about it, you've both got things to be doing. He owes me a report tomorrow. He'll be out of my office by 1700, since you're so keen on him."

"I'm not - " Raleigh sighed, deciding to give up on explaining himself. He didn't personally understand it so how could he expect others to? "Ok. Thanks."

Herc clamped him on the shoulder, his expression softening. "Be careful with that one, Raleigh. He's just a kid."

Raleigh couldn't stop the confusion from showing on his face.

"You'll see," was all Herc said with a chuckle.

 

\--

 

"So you want my help cornering him, right?" Tendo's expression was expectant.

"What? No. I think I can handle it." Raleigh leaned back against his bedroom wall.

"You think you can handle Newton?" Tendo's laughter filled the room. "Oh are _you_ in for a surprise."

"Everyone says the weirdest things about him."

"What do ya mean?"

"Well…" Raleigh rubbed his chin. "Hermann says he talks about me all the time. You say he's in love with me. And Herc says he's just like a kid. What is he _really_ like?"

"I guess you're gonna find out tomorrow! With me there as backup."

Raleigh laughed.

 

\--

 

"No appreciation at all, why'd I even join the army in the first place," Newton muttered as he stalked out of Herc's office. "What's the point of paying me if my research is ignored?"

"Hey Newt!" Tendo greeted, stepping up to him and grabbing his arm. "We need to talk."

"Uh, ok?" Newton replied, glancing down at the hold on his arm. "Really, can this wait, I was in the middle of something when I remembered about this stupid meeting."

"Sorry, it can't wait," Tendo replied cheerfully, dragging him down the hallway.

Newton let himself be pulled along with a perplexed expression. "Is it this important? Not that I mind getting away from Hermann for awhile, he's being an idiot, something about the mathematical representation of tectonic shifts, but I was halfway through something and I really need to finish it - "

"You'll get back to it. Eventually," Tendo placated, stopping in front of his door.

Newton's expression was now a bit more shuttered as he watched Tendo open his door. "Seriously, keep it under control until - "

"Oh, this isn't about _that_ ," Tendo said, pushing him into his room. "This is about _him_."

Raleigh, who was waiting inside, raised an eyebrow.

Newton immediately paled and turned to the exit but Tendo was already shutting the door. "This - this is entrapment! C'mon, man, let me out."

The pilot crossed his arms. "Not until you tell me why you ran away from me."

"Look, it's fine, you don't want to ever see me or talk to me and I get that. It's cool. I'll give you your space or whatever but I really want to keep working here, I like it here, I don't mind Hermann too much, well, most of the time - "

"What makes you think I don't want to see you?" Raleigh interrupted, puzzled.

" _Because_ ," Newton said, looking a touch terrified, "I some stupid things, like kaijus are awesome and they are but they sorta killed your brother and oh my god, it's no wonder you hate me and never want to talk to me - "

"Calm down!" Raleigh took a few steps to close the distance between him and the scientist. "Yeah, some stuff happened but I can accept that now. Doesn't mean I don't want to know you just because you don't have a brain to mouth filter."

Newton opened his mouth, then closed it. "So you _don't_ hate me?" he finally asked in a breathy voice.

"No, of course I don't. Why would you - hey!"

Newton's face paled rapidly and his eyes rolled back as he slumped into Raleigh's arms, who managed to catch him and lower him to the floor. Raleigh and Tendo exchanged worried looks before Raleigh shook Newton's shoulder gently. "Hey, wake up. You all right?"

Newton's eyelids fluttered, then slowly blinked open. "Ugh," he said, looking dazed and unfocused. "I - I got it. Hold on." He pushed himself up a bit, grabbing onto their arms in an effort to steady himself. "Don't - dammit."

The curse was directed towards himself, as a trickle of red came out of his nose. He made a face then pressed his hand against his nose, tilting his head back.

"I'm fine," came the muffled comment. "But if you don’t want me to bleed all over your shirt you should probably let me leave."

"Is this a common thing for you?" Raleigh asked, watching as Tendo retrieved an old shirt and pulled Newton's hand away, pressing it up to the nosebleed. Newton clenched his fist, one side now covered in blood, and placed it in his lap.

"It's been happening ever since I drifted with the kaiju the second time," Newton replied, blinking at the feeling of Tendo's hand cradling the back of his head while still pressing the cloth to his face.

"How often?"

Newton shrugged. "Few times a week."

Alarmed, Raleigh asked, "Was there permanent damage?"

"Not sure," Newton answered flippantly.

"…what?" Raleigh said sharply.

"I haven't gone to see the doctors about it. I keep forgetting. I mean, it's not like I have memory loss or dizziness, other than the fainting I suppose, so it's probably not serious."

"See what I mean?" Tendo asked the speechless Raleigh. "Up, Newt. We're going to the doctor's right now."

"What? No - I mean, ok but - can we go later? I'm sure he's busy plus I was serious about having things to do in the lab, you can come get me after that." As Newton stood he staggered and Raleigh latched onto his arm and shoulder to steady him. The pilot glanced down to see a slight blush on Newton's cheeks as he glanced away and cleared his throat.

"Then we'll wait in front of the office until he's ready," Tendo said, winking at Raleigh, having not missed that little interaction. He pulled the shirt away from Newton's face - luckily his nose had stopped bleeding, though blood still smeared his upper lip.

"What possessed you to drift with a kaiju, anyway?" Raleigh asked, his hand still on Newton's arm as the other had shown a lack of coordination. He was not prepared for the physical effect his question had, as Newton's entire body perked up, his back standing a little straighter, his shoulders relaxing, an excited expression coming onto his face.

"A neural link is actually a simple concept," he began animatedly. "It was originally thought that drifting would only work between two creatures with higher brain functions, that is, between two human beings. But why wouldn't it work on a kaiju? I've studied them for years; while they're not as intelligent as human beings, they're certainly smarter than any clones we've ever made, because they're all clones, you know. Even with the lack of higher brain functions I figured kaijus had to have memories and experiences and drifting would show those, just how Jaeger pilots share memories when they drift. The only question was the neural load and if a human mind was capable of carrying it. It takes two people to handle piloting a Jaeger; would drifting with a kaiju require a similar connection of two people? Or were their minds so different from our own that it wouldn't matter how many people tried, it would always end in failure? I couldn't really say until I tried. Besides, I just knew that there had to be some information in their heads that would help us defeat them. Who knows the kaiju better than the kaiju themselves? It was worth the risk to find out."

"Wow." Raleigh took a moment to realize that Newton was kind of crazy. Not like the serial killer crazy, the obsessed scientist crazy. It was…kind of endearing, actually. He could've turned out like Hermann, a person who saw others as beneath him, or like any other snobby scientist. Instead he kept a strange child-like wonder for his field and research, coupled with a brilliant mind and a teenage rebellion evidenced by the tattoos on his arms. It was a bit funny that, looking at all his traits, not one of them lined up with what people considered the responsibilities of adulthood. "How did you steal all the equipment?"

"I knew I couldn't steal it, so I built a Pons helmet myself. It was easy since I didn't have to interface it to another machine, like the neural devices you use to hook up to the Jaegers. Basically I could skip the last step, you know, the 'neural handshake'."

"You just…built one." Raleigh gave a sidelong glance to Newton as they walked towards the elevator, but the scientist just glanced back with a pleased smile. "Out of what, exactly?"

"Some spare parts lying around. A lot of it came from my lab but some of it's made of stuff leftover from building the Jaegers. They just let anyone walk up that stuff, it's in a big trash pile upstairs, just sitting out. They should really have someone watching that but I guess it's a good thing they weren't." He laughed.

As they climbed into the elevator and Tendo pressed the button for the medical wing, Raleigh asked, "So you study kaiju and machines?"

"Anything that interests me really, and kaijus are _really_ interesting. I was working at a university when the first kaiju emerged through the breach. I knew I had to be a part of that and I figured the government was the best way to go so I joined up with one of the research teams. For awhile I worked on the group that started developing the neural link, with Caitlin Lightcap, so I learned most of the workings there. Then when I didn't like that they reassigned me to Dr. Schoenfeld who was working on the skeletons of the Jaeger itself, but that didn't really stick either. I mean giant robots are cool and all but I was much more interested in the kaijus themselves, how they worked, their physiology, just everything about them. They let me form an independent research team as long as I promised to give them information about how to defeat the kaiju, their origin and weaknesses, how to minimize the effect of kaiju blue which they were just figuring out was bad."

As they came out of the elevator, he added, "It was great, I had a huge budget, I could buy anything I wanted! That's the main reason we had all that extra stuff lying around, I got a lot of things we didn't necessarily need." His grin was bright.

Raleigh couldn't help but smile in response. "How do you manage to get on a research team so quickly?"

"Oh, they were asking me forever, ever since I graduated really. I didn't really see the point until the kaijus came along. Research at the university was boring too but I figured they were more forgiving as far as methods than the government. The pay was better too."

"Mr. Geiszler," came a dry sounding voice and Raleigh realized they were in the medical wing as the head doctor, the one who had checked out Raleigh himself, walked up and crossed his arms. "So good to see you. I was beginning to wonder if you were still alive, frankly."

"How'd you hear about the baby kaiju? Because that thing definitely tried to eat me, it was _this close_ to eating me, and it did eat Hannibal, I knew he shouldn't have stuck his knife in it - "

"I was referring to the possible brain trauma you might have suffered from drifting with a kaiju but I'm excited to hear about this other incident as well," the doctor said. He nodded at Raleigh and Tendo, the latter of which gave a sloppy salute and a grin. "Thanks for bringing him to me."

"No problem, doc," Tendo answered. "We'll leave him in your capable hands. You'll behave, right Newt?"

"Yeah but - could you go to my lab and finish my experiment? It's easy and I really don't want to leave it running all this time, some of that stuff really shouldn't be sitting out."

"Can't Hermann finish it for you?" Raleigh asked.

Newton rolled his eyes. "Him? Absolutely not. I wouldn't let him touch my stuff with a forty foot pole."

"All right, what do you want us to do?"

"Ok, so, downstairs you'll see a set of petri dishes sitting out. You have to move them from the table to the fume hood. Underneath the hood is a glass jar full of a yellow liquid, you have to place the dishes in there, carefully, then close the fume hood. Oh but whatever you do don't touch anything, use gloves, and forceps, they should be sitting out on the bench, did you get all that?"

"Petri dishes, fume hood, creepy liquid, use protection, got it," Tendo recited.

Newton gave them both a grin. "I'm trusting you here. Come back and see me if you have any questions."

"You can rely on us," Tendo promised. He reached up to give the scientist's arm a tight squeeze. "Try to think about yourself a little more from now on, ok?"

"I always think about myself!" Newton protested.

"Sure you do. Be a good patient and you might even see us again," Tendo said with a wink. Grabbing Raleigh's arm, he dragged them out the door.

"The fact that you're up and walking around proves that you probably won't drop dead in the next month…" was the last Raleigh heard as the door shut.

 

\--

 

"I don't know if we should be doing this."

"Relax," Tendo reassured, walking towards the table where, as expected, the petri dishes sat out. "We got this. Gloves, check. See, I'm being responsible and putting them on."

Raleigh crossed his arms, watching. "Is that blood in those dishes?"

"Hell if I know and do you really _want_ to know?" Tendo walked over to a cabinet with a glass cover. Flicking a switch on the side, a light flickered on inside the cabinet as the technician gripped a lip on the glass cover and pulled open the cabinet.

Raleigh observed with surprised. "You know how to use that thing?"

"The fume hood? Yeah, sure. Newt's taught me a little." He walked back over to the table and grabbed the forceps, using them to carefully pick up one of the petri dishes.

Raleigh waited until Tendo had walked back over to the fume hood and placed the dish in a small tub containing a thin layer of liquid before saying, "I feel like you want something from me."

"What? No, anything I want from you I already get." Tendo laughed.

"I meant, involving Newton."

"If you're asking me if I want to do naughty things to both you and Newton, the answer is yes. If you're asking me if I want _you_ to do naughty things to Newton, well…" There was a long moment of silence as Tendo moved another petri dish to the tub. "…that kind of depends."

"On what?"

Tendo looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "On you, of course."

"Wh - what?"

"Do _you_ want to do naughty things to Newton?"

Raleigh thought as Tendo placed the last petri dish into the fume hood. He didn't know Newton well enough to have truly formed an opinion of him yet, but so far he was strangely amused by the scientist. He acted so young and naïve and at the same time housed an obviously incredible mind. He had an eagerness that pulled at the cynicism Raleigh had developed over the years. But that didn't necessarily mean he was physically attracted - though he wasn't too bad on the eyes.

"I don't know," he answered.

"Good answer," Tendo said as he shut the fume hood and flicked the light off. Placing the gloves back on the table, he added, "But try not to take too long to think about it, all right? Poor guy's been pining after you for awhile."

"…did you just use the word 'pining'?"

"Yes I did."

Raleigh began laughing while Tendo pouted.

"What?!?"

 

\--

 

"Newton?" Raleigh called as he pushed the door open. He wrinkled his nose as the scent of antiseptic and medicine.

 "Over here!"

The pilot took a moment before he saw Newton sitting in a medical bed, dressed in blue medical scrubs, waving a hand. As Raleigh walked over, Newton gave him a pleased smile. "So, did you take care of my experiment?"

"Yeah, Tendo had it covered. I guess you taught him a few things, huh?"

"Here and there," Newton said flippantly, blinking slowly. "Thanks, I really appreciate it." He paused for a moment then blurted out, "I know you already explained it but I really have to know youdon'thatemeright?"

Raleigh didn't fight the urge to reach out and settle a hand on Newton's shoulder. "No, I don't hate you. I never did. Is that why you ran from me? Because you thought I hated you?"

Newton looked both relieved and embarrassed. "Yeah, I know it was silly. I'm uh, well, I'm not very good at dealing with my problems, if they can't be solved with science. You know what I mean?" He forced out a laugh.

Raleigh gave the shoulder he was holding a gentle squeeze before releasing it. "What did the doctor say?"

"They don't know much yet, I have to stay for an MRI." He had to take a moment to yawn. "They gave me something to calm me down because the doctor said I have a tendency to move around too much and he couldn't get a good reading if I kept fidgeting, but now I'm getting sleepy."

"You should probably sleep then," Raleigh advised.

Newton's lips twisted in distaste. "I don't want to."

"Why not?" Raleigh asked, puzzled.

Newton was saved from answering as the doctor came over, saying, "Time for that MRI. Personally, I'm curious to see if there's any lasting damage from your little stunt."

"Aren't you supposed to be comforting me, doc?" Newton grinned.

Raleigh stood. "I'll see you tomorrow, Newton."

The scientists eyes widened, then, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Raleigh had to reach over at that hopeful look and ruffle the other's hair. Damn, Tendo was right, it _was_ soft.

"All right," Newton replied happily, "see you tomorrow."

 

\--

 

The next time Raleigh entered the medical wing, Tendo was sitting next to Newton and the two of them were chatting quietly.

As he walked over, Newton's eyes widened and he punched Tendo in the arm while hissing something. Raleigh caught the last of Tendo's answering laughter as he stopped next to Tendo, who was rubbing his arm.

"I'm just saying," Tendo grinned. "Hey Raleigh."

The pilot raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Hey."

"We totally weren't talking about you," Tendo said flippantly.

"So the doctor got the results back from the MRI already," Newton was quick to interrupt, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks.

Raleigh decided to let it go for now and drew up a chair. "Tell me it's good news."

"Well it's not that bad, it's just that - "

"Oh, no," Tendo interrupted, leaning forward to grab Newton in a gentle head lock. "You can't trust _this_ source."

"Hey!" Newton complained, his fingers curling around Tendo's arm, but Raleigh noted he didn't try to escape.

"Hey yourself," Tendo replied. "They said that he suffered some mild trauma. He should take it easy for awhile and avoid any high stress situations because that apparently causes the nosebleeds and the fainting. Other than that, it appears that sharing his brain with an alien turned out surprisingly well. Still, he's supposed to tell the doctor if anything happens." He poked Newton in the stomach without releasing his hold. "Like headaches, or numbness, or _tingling_ …in your _extremities_ …"

This time Newton flushed a bright red and pushed his head into the crook of Tendo's elbow. "Tendo!" came his muffled protest.

Laughing, Tendo ruffled the other's dark hair before releasing him. "For being such a loud mouth you sure do freeze up on the weirdest of things! Listen, Raleigh, can you keep him company for awhile? I've got a few things left to take care of."

"Sure - but can't you leave now that the doctor took the MRI?"

"He says I have to stay here for another day for observation," Newton answered.

"Basically, he doesn't trust Newton to take it easy," Tendo corrected as he stood up.

"I can do things without stressing out," Newton muttered petulantly.

Tendo just waved indulgently as he walked out.

"I can," Newton insisted to Raleigh, who just smiled.

"I'm sure you can," Raleigh placated. "So are you always this bad at looking after yourself?"

"Hey, I'm a rock star now, I don't have time to look after myself!"

"…whatever that means."

"There's just too much to do, you know? Too much to learn! I don't have time for silly things like doctor's appointments. They just get in the way of doing science."

"But if you're dead, you can't do science anymore," Raleigh pointed out.

Newton nodded. "Yeah, I thought about that before I drifted with the kaiju. I mean, I don't want to die. I like my life. A lot! It took a long time for me to - get where I am and I didn't want it to end. But my _theory_ …" The scientist huffed out a breath. "I _knew_ it was important! Bombs had bounced off the breach before, why would another kaiju - or even two more kaijus - change that? Hermann's idea of the breach widening because of the extra creatures just didn't sit with me. Besides I - " He hesitated.

"What?" Raleigh prompted, curious.

"I - " Newton looked up and met his gaze. "I was worried. About you. About - all of you. About none of you coming back…"

Raleigh found himself swallowing at the sincerity of his gaze. "What about the mission?"

Newton smiled. "Saving the world is important and all. But I think people are more important, you know?"

The pilot could hold back a laugh. "That doesn't make much sense."

Newton shrugged, unperturbed. "Rock stars don't have to make sense."

"You're a rock star now, huh? Because you saved the world?"

"Helped saved the world," Newton corrected modestly, then added, "I was pretty awesome though, I went to the black market to get the second brain to drift with, it was crazy, and pretty scary, Hannibal put a knife up my nose, that hurt a lot. And then he told me that I had a link with the kaiju since it went both ways, you know, the drift, and I'm still not entirely sure if that's true but that kaiju that came into Hong Kong found me but then it noticed you so I think you saved my life, thanks for that."

"What do you mean, it _found_ you?"

"I was in one of the public shelters and it broke down the ceiling and some sort of tentacle things were reaching for me."

"It didn't just…kill you?"

"Yeah, I was confused about that too. But hey, good thing it didn't!"

Raleigh shook his head. Tackle that another time. "How do you feel about seeing a kaiju up close now?"

"It was amazing and really _really_ scary. They're a lot bigger in person. Recordings didn't give them justice, not when you're that close and they're trying to eat you."

"Still think they're amazing, huh?"

Newton grinned. "Something can be amazing _and_ scary. And dangerous. And - uhm - " The scientist's lips pulled down. "I'm…sorry. About your brother."

Raleigh's eyes widened, startled. Then his lips quirked. "Thanks."

"Why are you smiling?" Newton demanded, looking irritated. "I'm trying to be nice here! And understanding! It's hard!"

Raleigh didn't stop his laughter. "I appreciate your sentiments, Newton, I really do. It's just that you're bad at that."

"When you've got killer looks and brilliance it's hard to fit social skills in there too."

"Is it true that you love me?"

Newton looked frozen. "I - ah - what? Who - who told you that?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah because it - because I - " He seemed unable to do anything but stutter and wave his hand vaguely in the air.

"I know what you've been doing with Tendo."

Newton rolled his eyes. " _He_ told you."

"We share a lot of things, Newton. You have to accept that."

The look he got was confused. "I know that."

Raleigh frowned. "Tendo told you about - me and him?"

"Oh - no, not _per say_ told me outright. He talks about you a lot and I just kind of inferred the rest. I mean he - we don't do _that_ ever since you came to the base, so I figured…that you two…"

Raleigh raised an eyebrow. "Have sex?"

"…yeah." Newton smiled, clearly a bit embarrassed. "It's weird for me to talk about that stuff is all."

"Why?"

"I dunno, it just is." It was clear he wanted to change the subject.

"Newton, I…I'm not sure how to say this…" Raleigh took a few seconds to gather up his thoughts. "Look, Tendo wants you to get together with me _and_ him. I've been hanging out with you  these past few days to try and see what you were like, to get to know you. Tendo really likes you and so that got me interested in meeting you…" He scrubbed a hand across his forehead. "What I'm trying to say is - if you really do love me, or at least like me, then I'm willing to give this a shot."

"You…" Newton shook his head. "You're kidding."

"Nope."

"But - _why_?" He looked hopeful and desperate at the same time, like something he'd desired forever was in his reach but he was too wary to grasp it. Maybe, Raleigh thought wryly, that's exactly what was happening.

"Why? Because I think you're interesting and I wanna try a relationship with you. Isn't that enough?"

"I…really? Uhm - I mean, yeah, sure. If you really want to, I really want to, too, uhm, that sounds dumb, can I start over?"

"How about I kiss you?"

Newton flushed. "There are people here - "

"I know." Raleigh leaned forward, letting his fingers slide around the back of Newton's neck, feeling the soft hair against his skin. He pressed his lips to Newton's, gently, a bit surprised at the softness, and let his other hand rest on the bed to steady himself. Newton grabbed a fistful of his shirt and tugged, pulling them closer, the scientists lips parting shyly. Raleigh let his tongue slowly trace the inside of Newton's upper lip before pulling back, smiling at Newton's low sound of protest.

"There are people here," he reminded the other man teasingly.

"That didn't stop you," Newton retorted before his tongue darted out across his lips. He appeared to consider for a moment before his face broke into a huge grin. "Not that I'm complaining."

"I didn't think you would."

"You - I mean we're really - ?"

Raleigh indulged himself by threading his fingers through Newton's hair. "Yeah."

"Tendo too?"

"Him too. If you can put up with him."

"I've been doing that for years, I can handle it." Newton laughed, low. "This is going to be _awesome_."

By the warm feeling spreading through his chest, Raleigh had to silently agree.

 

\--

 

"You _what_?" Tendo gripped his arms, keeping his voice low around the bustle of people moving around main command. "You're sure about this?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Weren't you the one telling me not to lead him on? So I didn't."

Tendo tipped his head back and whooped, startling everyone around him. "Oh, this is great!"

"Keep it down," Raleigh grumbled but found himself smiling too.

"Oh man, oh man, I'm so excited. Is he still in the medical wing?"

"He's being released tonight, though the doctor said he should still take it easy."

"We are going to take it easy all night long."

"I can't believe I'm friends with you sometimes."

Tendo elbowed him playfully in the stomach. "Your place or mine?"

 

\--

 

Newton was pulling his shoes on, overseen by the doctor, when Raleigh walked up to him.

"Ah, Mr. Becket," the doctor said, uncrossing his arms. "Could you accompany Mr. Geiszler back to his room?"

Newton groaned. "Really, doc, I got it, I can restrain myself, I won't go back to the lab even though there are a thousand things I still need to take care of - "

"Sure," Raleigh acquiesced as Newton stood up. "And I'll make sure he doesn't stress out."

"My thanks," the doctor replied, nodding to Raleigh and giving Newton a stern glare before walking away.

"It's ok, really, I'm fine, you don't have to take me anywhere," Newton was quick to say.

"That's good." Raleigh pressed a firm hand to the small of Newton's back and smiled when a quick look was sent his way. "But we're going anyway. C'mon."

They were both quiet, Newton fidgeting a bit, as they entered the empty elevator.

"Newton," and the man in question looked up, "why do you like me?"

Newton flushed. "Because."

Raleigh raised an eyebrow. That was the least he'd ever heard Newton say in one breath. "Because…?"

Newton took a long, slow breath, his eyes fixed on the elevator wall. "Because when the kaijus came through the Breach we all wondered how to defeat them, they were so big, and powerful, and so out of reach that it seemed impossible for any person to even _touch_ them, let alone kill them. And then the Jaegers were designed, and they were larger than life, too, in order to fight a creature that could destroy cities with just a few steps, and Jaeger pilots became something more than human, in order to control such raw power and ability, they were risking their lives and their minds to give humanity a chance, and I - I watched you fight, all those times, and you were so confident, and you always won, and when I heard that Gipsy Danger had been defeated it _hurt_ so much that I thought maybe it wasn't just respect for a Jaeger pilot it was - something more - " He cut himself off.

Raleigh found himself stepping up and wrapping his arms around Newton from behind, the other man reaching up and gripping his forearms with shaking hands.

"I'm not that man, Newton," Raleigh found himself saying in response. "After my brother died I - I'm not that man anymore. I don't think I ever was. I just thought I was great. But I'm just what's left after - all of that."

"It's ok, I _know_ that, I know that you - and me - and it's just, you know?"

"Yeah. I…I know."

They were silent for the rest of the way, Raleigh's arms around Newton, and the thing was he _did_ know. Neither of them were who they really wanted to be but at least they could be around people they loved. It just amazed Raleigh that he had managed to find someone again, after all this time. Without his brother, for awhile it felt like nothing was right in the world and nothing ever would be again. And yeah, it still felt like that at times, like a blow to the chest, and it would never be the same again but now it didn't feel quite as bad, knowing there was someone else to share the pain with and to understand the loss.

Raleigh ended up practically dragging Newton down the hall until Tendo's room, not even bothering with knocking and just shoving the heavy door open to a surprised but amused Tendo.

"Hey, where's the fire - !"

Before Tendo's sentence was finished, Raleigh had pushed Newton up against the far wall to kiss him senseless.

"At least let me close the door," Tendo laughed as he did just that.

To be honest, Raleigh had no idea where this sudden desire had come from. Maybe it had been sparked by Newton's words or his trust or something else entirely but he had just realized how _lucky_ he was to be surrounded by people who respected him and accepted him, all of him, even the parts of himself he didn't like. He doubted he could express it in words so he just crumpled his fist in Newton's shirt and kissed harder before pulling back.

"Whoa," Newton said, and his eyes were bright and his glasses were askew and he looked more than ready for what was about to come next.

"I didn't realize you were _this_ on board," Tendo joked in a low voice as he pressed up against Raleigh from behind.

"Neither did I," Raleigh admitted as Tendo pulled his shirt over his head. "Better make the most of it."

"And we will," Tendo promised in a low voice, and Newton grinned, and everything else was lost for the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know, I realize Yamarashi is technically on his arm in the movie, but I'm allowed a little creative license :D hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Also, most of the comments from Newton about the Pons helmet are my own conjectures. Science is fun!


End file.
